I am a difficult case

Has this phrase ever occurred to you?

If so, this article is for you. And I assure you—you're not alone. Some people tell me this right when they order a personal analysis. For others, this thought lingers like a thread throughout their conversation. Sometimes I see it in a person's current appearance, in the muscle spasms on their face, or in the depths of their eyes.

I know her well, because I cherished her within myself for many years.

It's a companion and, in some ways, a "crutch" for self-rejection, because if you can't accept yourself, the idea of ​​shifting the blame onto external circumstances is very tempting. Nature didn't help me by gifting me with a "simple" appearance, otherwise I would have calmed down long ago. But, unfortunately, I'm complex, and therefore I can't achieve a look I'm happy with. I need to dig deeper. I need to figure it out. I need to ask. I need to double-check. And double-check. Be sure. In my misadventures through these circles of hell, I've come to only one conclusion: it's crucial to get rid of this thought. If you want to take a breath and move on to the constructive part, and from there, to productive activity, of course.

Sometimes this construct hides a reluctance to accept the "rules of the game": a fear of being judged by generally accepted criteria for assessing appearance and realizing that one's position is quite modest. After all, if you don't play, it's impossible to lose. The first instinct is to reject and devalue the "superficial and shallow" world in which appearance matters at all. But it does. And we all want to be attractive. For various purposes and for various audiences, but also for better social adaptation in general. The thought is initially unpleasant, but ultimately liberating, as our brains are great fans of all kinds of frameworks and only allocate energy for creative expression when there are stable points of support.

We'll talk about them today.

When embarking on the journey of personal style, it's crucial to prepare, paying attention to the most basic, fundamental aspects of a pleasing appearance—grooming and naturalness. Together, these will provide the necessary foundation for the future style foundation: color, lines, and image type. It's only natural that the creative part generates much more interest and motivation, but without a clear, readable foundation, the process will be greatly complicated, and the reliability of the result will be highly questionable. Of course, when analyzing someone else, with a certain skill and mindset, this stage can be mentally "completed" and the fundamental flaws can be removed, but I sincerely advocate making life simpler, not more difficult.

So, what do we mean by base?

Signs of physical health include skin (including makeup), hair, nails, teeth, and figure. Health is the beginning and the main contributor to attractiveness.

• I think there is no need to clarify anything about the cleanliness of the skin and the health (at least visible) of the teeth, but they, of course, influence the overall impression quite significantly and require care.

• With nails, everything is also quite simple - clean nails of short/medium length, a manicure without bright coating and design.

• The topic of figure is multifaceted and can be explored at various levels of style development. For example, different people are flattered by different muscle-to-fat ratios. However, a relaxed, comfortable body image, a comfortable sense of self, and an ease of living in one's own body are easily discernible even at a cursory glance from the outside, and it's important not to neglect one's health, losing excess weight or replenishing deficiencies when necessary.

• Hair is also a more complex and multi-layered topic. At the basic stage, two points are important to us:

1. My "natural" hair color (or something close to it if I'm forced to dye my hair due to graying). The most heartbreaking pain in my life is women who dye their noble ash ("mousy," as they call it) hair red, dark, or radically blonde to become "brighter." Brightness isn't about beauty. Beauty is about harmony. Perhaps in some cases, a hair color change will truly be justified, but you have to get to that point.

2. Haircut. The main criteria for the basic cut are the optimal length that makes your hair look its healthiest, is comfortable for you, and doesn't require more maintenance than you're willing to provide. This typically involves variations of the bob without bangs. Shorter or longer, with a straight or side part, with a straight cut or a layered bob. Split ends, thinning hair, and lack of volume are all easily corrected with scissors in the hands of a stylist. With a short haircut, as with radically long hair, it's easy to miss the mark, so it's best to stick to a medium length for the basic cut (unless you already have luxurious long hair, of course). The possibility of wearing bangs and their suitable variations is also best considered at a later stage of style development.

• Makeup deserves a separate discussion, as it includes such an important detail of one's appearance as eyebrows. Eyebrows, more than anything else, can significantly, quickly, and virtually painlessly transform a face. For a clean base, eyebrows should be grown to their natural width and shape, removing only the most stray hairs. If you have existing permanent makeup, it should, of course, be lightened as much as possible. The same applies to eyelash extensions and other cosmetic procedures.

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Well, the preparatory stage is complete.

What is the next plan of action?

You need to live with this "blank slate" for a while, get used to it, especially if you've previously deviated from your natural self quite a bit. It's likely that at first it will be boring, and your mind will continue to churn through all sorts of self-beautification options. In this case, you can try channeling its enthusiasm into a more positive direction—into grooming, developing healthy habits, and updating your wardrobe, initially focusing on something simple, like your body type and vertical proportions, choosing simple, basic styles that are comfortable and appropriate. It's much easier to imbue your wardrobe with meaning later than to grow out your natural hair. You can take courses like "makeup for yourself," experiment with hairstyles and hair textures (but nothing permanent!), or work on releasing your facial muscles. At the same time, it's advisable to generally shift from deeper concerns about image and style to the simple and clear goal of looking good.

After six months to a year of this "detox," you'll be able to look at yourself with fresh eyes, and ideas about how to further improve your appearance may come naturally. Perhaps this will even be enough for you, and the desire to delve into the depths of style will disappear on its own.

If not, a good foundation will allow you to embark on a style journey with a light heart: on your own or in the company of a stylist whose vision resonates with you. Driven no longer by a debilitating thirst for self-affirmation, but by curiosity and the creative process.

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Peace between the outer and inner to each and everyone!

Thank you for your trust, and until next time!